Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

SPOILERS, SPOILERS, HEAPS AND HEAPS OF SPOILERS

Okay, so if you've not read Mockingjay by now, then really, you shouldn't read this post.  Really.  It will be full of spoilers and will totally spoil it for you.  This isn't a review either, because I don't think I could actually review the book articulately.  So, these are just my thoughts.

I was kind of not going to read this book, especially after being spoiled.  BUT.  I reconsidered, because Hunger Games and Catching Fire are and will always be amazing pieces of dystopian literature. Which means that my expectations for Mockingjay were exceptionally high, maybe too high.  And this is where my slow descent into mind numbing panic began, because of course, things didn't play out how I wanted them to.  By the time I had finished the book, I was ready to jump on a flight and go and find Suzanne and kick her ass.  I was livid.  I hated the characters, I hated how the book ended, I wasn't fussed if other people liked the book because I didn't.  Surely she'd made a mistake.  She had somehow put the wrong ending in my book.  

Now, this is where my admiration for Suzanne begins.  Because it takes a lot for me to feel so angry and distraught over a book.  I've not cried so much since I read the final Harry Potter book.  I didn't think it was possible to let a book affect me so much.  But it did.  And for this reason, i'm in awe of this woman and the world and characters she has so artfully created.  Because OF COURSE she had to end it the way she did  (note, this does not and will not ever include the epilogue or the lame Gale ending).  It doesn't matter that it's not the ending I wanted, that the story didn't progress how I would've liked it too, that Katniss didn't choose the boy I was rooting for.  None of this matters.  What matters is that she has made me care about these characters, that she emersed me so fully into their world, that despite my anger at the way it ended, the ending was perfect for the characters.  Which to me, is such a brave thing to do.  I wish things had turned out differently, but what I wanted and what I got are two completely different things.

Now onto the characters.  Well HOLY SHIZZ Peeta was such an ass in this book and I LOVED it, for the whole page and a bit it lasted.  Mostly because I didn't care for Peeta, mostly because it was about time he stopped being such a pansy and being all fluffy.  But the whole highjacking thing could've played out so so much better than it did.  It kind of hit the page with a bang and then dissolved instantly.  I never thought he was a threat, I never feared for Katniss's safety around him, I never even wanted him on my pages.  Because it was Peeta, the boy who bakes cakes.  Even when he strangled Katniss I never felt much of anything, other than this was such a weird storyline.  Where was the danger, where was the fear, where was bad ass Peeta who hates everyone?  I swear, the second he iced that cake it was like "oh well, he MUST be better now" really? I just found it all a little too unbelievable and forced, so much so that it never quite had the effect on me it was intended to.  I still hate Peeta.  

Gale.  Oh poor Gale.  I love you even if Katniss doesn't.  But MAN, what did they do to you in this book.  They turned him from this loving provider who would do anything for his family and Katniss, into a bloody thirsty war crazy boy.  Plus, the whole Prim thing majorly PISSED me off.  Really Katniss, your going to blame the guy for wanting revenge on the people who stole the girl he loved and forced her to kill people, who made her into someone that can't see a good thing when it's in front of her.  I was cheering when he was being bad ass and wanting to show the Captiol that he wasn't to be messed with.  I could even understand him wanting to do something, anything, to try and make a better future for everyone.  Of course he was going to be angry, he felt that it was his fault Katniss went through what she did, because he wasn't there for her in the arena. And his ending? really? Katniss was that shallow a person that she never even cared that she never saw her best friend? that she never said goodbye to him? that the fact he just upped and left for District 2 didn't bother her? the Katniss I know would not do this, she would fight for Gale, like she fights for those she loves.  His ending was not an ending at all.  It was nothing.  Fuck, that makes me mad.

Katniss.  I just want to give her a big hug and see if I can invent some kind of memory remover, because boy, she could do with catching a break.  In this book, she was such an erratic and scared girl.  I never quite knew what she was going to do from one scene to the next.  I could almost see her cracking and was waiting for the moment that it all crumpled around her.  Yes, she is the girl on fire.  Yes she is a rebel and yes she is kick ass.  But really, she's not.  I would like to think that she's this bad ass warrior who fights for the good of the people.  But thats not her.  She's just a girl trying to protect what little family she has left.  She never wanted any of this.  She didn't want to fight, she didn't want to be the Mockingjay, in the end she just wanted to die.  And this is what broke me.  This was what made me realise that the Katniss I stored in my head was not the Katniss on the pages.  She never really had a choice in anything.  Every decision was made for her by someone else.  Her fate and the fate of those she loved was put into the hands of others.  She had no control over anything.  She never wanted to fight, she never wanted to go into the games, she did these things because she felt she needed to, in order to protect people.  But she does have fire.  She has a fire inside her that makes her carry on, that fuels her desire to want revenge.  This fire was effectively robbed from her and I don't quite know where it went or if she could ever get it back.  Evidently, she didn't.  They sprayed a fire extinguisher on the girl on fire and destroyed her.  Bad move.  She was better in my head as a bad ass.

The whole Prim situation makes me real mad, so I'm trying not to think about it too much.  In fact, i'm trying to pretend that whole thing never really happened.  

Finnick.  I have nothing to say about this boy that doesn't make me want to crawl into my fort of blankets and cry for a while.  Same with Cinna.

Now, I've not read other posts about this so i'm unsure as to how people think about the whole Gale/Peeta thing, so I apologise for my lack lustre approach.  I have been firmly Team Gale since I read the first book.  Within the opening chapter, I had made my choice.  No matter how nice Peeta was, how much he sacrificed for Katniss, how much he loved her, my mind was set.  I couldn't appreciate these sences because I kept thinking about Gale.  About how it must hurt him to see Katniss kiss Peeta.  It took me until about an hour ago to reconcile my feelings about the whole Peeta and Katniss get together and have babies thing.  Because she was meant to be with Gale. As much as it pains me to say this, it was always Peeta.  Collins always intended for him to be the one (blah).  It took me until an hour ago to come to terms with this.  A life with Gale would've been out of character with this new Katniss I have discovered.  He has too much fire, his fire combined with the fire inside of Katniss would've destroyed them both.  She needs Peeta.  Like needs him and his gentle nature and the fact that all he has every really wanted is her.  Seriously, it hurts me even to type this out, but I do believe the right choice was made.  (Katniss was lameo by the end)

Plot.  I have a LOT of issues with certain things that happened.  Destroying District 12 was just so weird.  I kind of wanted to see the whole thing happen, but all we get to see is ash and Katniss being all emo about her town.  Then District 13 was a bit to high tech for me, the fact that it was all underground was very cool though.  And very clever and sneaky. Then Peeta kind of comes back with his freak on and tries to kill Katniss, whilst Gale is being a weird boy hating everything and planning the death of lots of people.  The District 2 scene? AMAZING!! and the Katniss I knew and loved.  She was back.  With a BANG and a swanky outfit to boot.  Her compassion and vulnerability made those scenes and built them up into something so powerful on the pages.  They packed a big hard punch and made me realise that deaths were going to come thick and fast.  Then that whacked out build up to storming the Capitol and all we get to see is Katniss and the other rebels breaking into peoples apartments and hiding things in their closets.  Then hanging round some underwear shop with a woman who looks like a tiger and effectively missing everything that was built up before hand? What the crappola was that about!  Also, the fact that Prim dies when all Katniss wanted to do was save her, to keep her safe.  I kind of understood when Katniss said yes to the option of another Hunger Games, this time with Captiol children.  But then the other Katniss would never have agreed to this, the other Katniss would try and destroy them without harming innocent people.  It kind of threw me that she would say yes.  It also pissed me off that Katniss could've just let Prim die in the arena and saved her self a LOT of bother and then married Gale instead of weak ass Peeta.  (I will repeat what I said on Twitter.  Team Gale because Peeta would be *that* guy.  The one who cries after sex.  I am sticking to that statement, because I totally beleive he would.)

The epilogue.  Aka those pages I ripped out of my book and burned. One word - Overkill.  If not for my revelation today about how I feel about the book, I would probably still be cursing Collins to the firey pits of hell.  Really? Really? My first thought when I read that was "did I somehow stumble upon a missing chapter from The Lord of The Rings." Katniss would NEVER do that.  I don't care what anyone says, that is just insane.  INSANE.  Also, what the EFF.  I can't even beleive that even got printed.  I mean yeah, I can cope with the ending and the fact that she choose Peeta, and that years go by in like a page.  And I can even cope with the fact that the girl who cant sit still sat in her kitchen for YEARS without enyone kicking her out of her chair.  BUT, I can't cope with the fact that she has what appears to be a miserable future.

Not that she is miserable with Peeta because I can see why she chose him, but that her life is depicted a sad existence.  She didn't want the children, she says so herself.  Yes, she was thrown into a war when she wasn't even an adult yet, she has saw things anyone could ever fathom, she has never been able to make her own choices, but I can't beleive she would want this life for herself.  They don't even rejoice that the things they suffered through, the lifes they ended, the blood they shed and the scars they bear, are the reason why the world is somewhat better than it was before.  She doesn't seem happy that because of the trials she went through, her childrens and heck other childrens lives will be better.  that she has built this future from her sacrifices.  No, she sits in her garden and makes a memory book for the kids she didn't even want.   In fact, writing this post has made me mad again.  DAMN YOU COLLINS.

I'm off to write some fan fiction, and this time, the ending will be the ending that I want.  Not some weak sauce ending where Katniss and Peeta are basically piss poor excuses of the people they used to be.


edit - i just re-read my post and realised that I start off in awe of the book and end up pretty much where i was when i first finished it.  I think it kind of hate it a bit.  no, i kind of hate it quite a lot.

Review - A Little Wanting Song by Cath Crowley

Published by Knopf
Published 8 June 2010

Summary from Goodreads - Charlie Duskin loves music, and she knows she's good at it. But she only sings when she's alone, on the moonlit porch or in the back room at Old Gus's Secondhand Record and CD Store. Charlie's mom and grandmother have both died, and this summer she's visiting her grandpa in the country, surrounded by ghosts and grieving family, and serving burgers to the local kids at the milk bar. She's got her iPod, her guitar, and all her recording equipment, but she wants more: A friend. A dad who notices her. The chance to show Dave Robbie that she's not entirely unspectacular.

Rose Butler lives next door to Charlie's grandfather and spends her days watching cars pass on the freeway and hanging out with her troublemaker boyfriend. She loves Luke but can't wait to leave their small country town. And she's figured out a way: she's won a scholarship to a science school in the city, and now she has to convince her parents to let her go. This is where Charlie comes in. Charlie, who lives in the city, and whom Rose has ignored for years. Charlie, who just might be Rose's ticket out.

I think it's safe to say that this book firmly cemented my knowledge that contemporary fiction is a genre we all need to look out for.  It's a genre that spins so many tales and really get to the heart of readers.  Told in alternating points of views, we get to watch the story of Charlie and Rose come to life on the pages.  We get to follow them on their journey to self discovery and growing up.  We get to see the wonders that we all hope for.  

At first glance, Charlie and Rose couldn't be more different; however they have something in common, they both just want.  Whether it be wanting to leave a small town, or just wanting someone to notice you.  The longing they both felt was so powerful and intense, that I found myself wanting with them.  I wanted something more, and Crowley gave it to me.  I loved the characters almost like I knew them.  Charlie with her quitet soulful ways.  Rose with her emotions locked safe away.  Luke with his pain in my proverbial arse ways and Dave, with his sweet demeaner and killer looks.  

But, the thing that caught me the most was the writing.  Hot damn can this woman write.  These are the kind of words that I could read everyday, the kind of words that speak to you and want you to get lost in them.  I was just mesmorised with how the story was told in such a poetically beautiful way.  The writing almost made my heart ache with the beauty of it all.  It held so much raw emotion, so much passion and so much more.  Her writing is like magic.  Really, it just amazes me to the point where I can't even think straight.  

This book was just gold dust.  Poetic, beautiful and truly inspiring, run out and get your copy now and revel in the magic of her words.  

Mockingjay MADNESS.....DON'T LET YOURSELF BE SPOILED!

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT GO ON GOODREADS UNTIL MOCKINGJAY HAS BEEN RELEASED BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SPOILED.

Yeah, you read that correctly.  To put it bluntly, I am so fucked off it's not even funny.  I am so pissed that I don't care that this post is going to be littered with more swear words than all my posts combined.  Because really? HOW EFFING SELFISH.  Why post spoilers of a book that you KNOW has been EMBARGOED, when you KNOW, the AUTHOR has frackin requested that you refrain from posting ANYTHING about the damn book until it's published.  WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, this little bitch has posted a FULL freaking review and it has SPOILERS GALORE.  How very selfish, NASTY and disrespectful.  YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.  AND I SO BADLY WANT TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!

I am going on an internet hiatus until after the book has been released, because I fear more spoilers than I have already gotten.  In fact, this has kind of ruined the whole reading experience for me.  RUINED.  Because man that was a pretty HEFTY spoiler.  I don't even actually feel like I need to read the book anymore.  Which is a damn shame because i've been looking forward Mockingjay for a full year.

I may even delete my goodreads account out of protest.  This person has gone against the wishes of the author AND the publisher and ruined something i've waited a long time for. 

Frustatingly Yours, Carla.

Review - Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

Published by Walker Books
Published 6 September 2010

Summary from Walker - Magic is dangerous - but love is more dangerous still... When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray arrives in England during the reign of Queen Victoria, something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Friendless and hunted, Tessa seeks refuge with the Shadowhunters, a band of warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons. Drawn ever deeper into their world, she finds herself fascinated by - and torn between - two best friends, and quickly realizes that love may be the most dangerous magic of all.

To say I loved this book would be selling this story short.  Having been an uber fan girl of Cassie's work since reading the first Mortal Instruments book City of Bones in 2007, there is nothing this woman has written that I wouldn't fight to read.  Seriously, you could throw me in The Hunger Games with the prize being a copy of her book (preferably City of Fallen Angels) and you bet your ass I would go bat shit crazy on the other tributes.  Okay, so yeah, I probably wouldn't go that far, but this woman has taught me how amazing books can affect people, how stories can stay with you long after you turn the last page and how readers can come together and make something wonderful.  HOLLA to my Mundie Moms, y'all rock my socks off and i'm proud to be part of the team.  Confession time, City of Bones was the first YA book I read and fell in love with.  That book started this all!!

Having read Cassie's other books, I have already been introduced to the wonderful Shadowhunter world and everything this represents, and it's a credit to the writing and pace of the book that not once during the re-tellings of the Shadowhunter world and history did I ever loose concentration.  No, the way the world was explained was infinitely different.  The Accords have only recently been signed, which means there is a lot of unrest amongst Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike.  It was so intriguing to uncover the unease the characters felt about the change and what it would mean for them in the future.  Prejudice is a theme we visit often, whether it be looking down on the Downworlders, or even the gender of a character.  Everything was handled in a way that made me think about how different life was in Victorian England and how certain choices I make now, would have been made by someone else on my behalf.  And we all know I HATE being told what to do.

Tessa was an easily relatable and enjoyable protagonist.  I have a soft spot for characters who are trying to find their place in the world and she definitely fit this bill.  Having grown up knowing nothing about this secret world, to be thrown into crazy situations where nothing makes sense must be horrifying, but she dealt with everything you threw at her with as much self respect and dignity as possible.  Then there is Will Herondale.  Ah, Will, you slay me with your witty ways and fancy dress clothes.  Also, is that booze I smell? Will is so confusing it's not even funny, I could sit here all day and try and figure out this sexy being and still be none the wiser.  He is so mystifiying and complex and oh so very rude.  In fact, he is quite a mean character.  Mean but hot.

Then there is Jem, with his quiet voice and calm demeaner.  I loved that even though we learn a lot about Jem, there are more layers to him as a character that I look forward to unravelling (if you think what i just thought you did, then your probably Team Will, just sayin.)  His past is so fascinating that it's going to be one hell of a journey to see how this affects him in the present and the future.  I think I like Jem a lot.  You could go to a bar with Jem and he'd be so nice to you, he'd pull out your chair, buy you drinks and entertain you all evening.  Whereas Will would probably leave you sat by the bar on your own, ignore you when he does sit near you and then leave with another girl.

Ah Jessamyn, my favourite female character.  Even though she is a royal pain in my ass.  Even though she moans a LOT.  Even though she doesn't get as much page time as I would like her to have, this girl kicks ass.  She is a girl who knows what she wants.  She's just an amazing strong female character.  The way she acted around the other Shadowhunters made me laugh, because she so just hates them all with a fiery passion.  I can imagine her death stare to be a thing of beauty.  And there is the little fact that she hates the world she's been born into.  Though I do think this is more the fact that she hates the restraints upon her and her inability to make her own choices.  Jessamyn is quite possibly crazy.  She is quite probably a ninja.  I expect fabulous things from her, lets just say she is going to shine in the next two books.

And the best part? It was only set in England.  Where I live.  Oh holy book gods, i've even visited a lot of the places mentioned in the book and to actually have visualisations of the setting and a firm knowledge base of the era, this was quite possibly, the icing on top of the already awesometastic cake. Characters that are complex and diverse, a story line that is original and engaging.  Clockwork Angel was mesmorising and started the series with a bang. Love love love love this book a LOT.

p.s For the record, i'm Team Cassie.

Thank you to Walker Books for sending be a copy of the book to review.  

Acknowledgements......I would like to thank The Academy

I have this serious serious obsession with book acknowledgments.  Like, if i'm in a bookshop and a book captures my attention, I won't read the first few pages, I like to save that until later.  No, the first thing that I want to read are the acknowledgements.  There is something so simply beautiful about reading what inspired people to write their story, or the numerous people who helped them along the way.  Bad acknowledgements make me feel kind of icky.  They make me wonder that if this person has not even made me feel something, anything, by their acknowledgements, then it's highly doubtful i'm going to connect to their story.

I think that when your writing a book you enter this relationship with it.  An obsessive relationship.  One that takes up a lot of your thinking, a lot of your heart and heaps and heaps of time.  Life carries on though,  even when your story is probably whirling through your mind demanding your attention.  I want to know what it was like, the things you overcome when writing, the people who did little things to make the path to publication all that easier.  I eat this stuff UP.  Even the thanks to your partner for washing all those dishes. To your sister for minding your kids so you could write.  There is something so unassuming about a writer that appreciates the little things, because it makes me think that maybe their characters appreciate the little things.  It gives me a little insight.  Seriously.  I've read acknowledgements for books that i've not even read.

I love personal acknowledgements, ones that use simple meaningful words to express how they feel about the people who was there for them when they started their book.  I guess some people like funny acknowedgements.  I will admit the Will Grayson, Will Grayson ones made me laugh out loud.  If you can laugh a lot just reading one pages of peoples thanks to other people, then I'm guessing i'm going to laugh my ass off when I read that book.  I like the soppy ones.  Heck, some have even made me cry, but that is GOOD, because if they can invoke that reaction from me, then I am sure going to read that book.  Even if it's about mutant ninja bunnies plotting to take over the world oil supply.  I WILL READ IT.  (also, can someone please write that book, kthnx).  I love this stuff.

But what about you? Are you as obsessed with acknowledgements like I am? What do you think makes them stand out? And most importantly, do you think there as important as i like to think they are?

Review - Looking for Alaska by John Green

Published by Harper Collins
Published 3 July 2006

Summary from Goodreads - Before. Miles "Pudge" Halter is done with his safe life at home. His whole life has been one big non-event, and his obsession with famous last words has only made him crave "the Great Perhaps" even more (Francois Rabelais, poet). He heads off to the sometimes crazy and anything-but-boring world of Culver Creek Boarding School, and his life becomes the opposite of safe. Because down the hall is Alaska Young. The gorgeous, clever, funny, sexy, self-destructive, screwed up, and utterly fascinating Alaska Young. She is an event unto herself. She pulls Pudge into her world, launches him into the Great Perhaps, and steals his heart. Then . . . After. Nothing is ever the same. 

I honestly don't really know what to say about this book, other than, when I turned the last page, I knew i'd just read something special.  I still can't adequately describe to you why I loved this book so much and I know it's one of those books that I will never really be able to process my feelings for into words.  I read a lot of books and i've never come across and author that has it, whatever it may be.  But John Green has it.  Miles along with the array of secondary characters; Colonel, Alaska, Takumi and Lara are so deftly formed.  They are mundane yet extraordinary.  Every single character was genuine; hopelessly flawed but ultimately forgiven.  There is nothing special about them, but they become special.  

The addition of religion and famous last words to the story added more depth and rather than distract you from the main plotline, they enhanced it, giving you as the reader more insight the characters and a greater understanding of their actions.  You go on this quest with Miles to help him find the Great Perhaps, you follow him through the awkward moments, you jump for joy when things go well and you hold his hand when nothing makes sense anymore.  

The philosophical elements really intrigued me, I loved going to class with Miles when the Old Man was teaching.  I loved hearing and becoming familiar to the different cultures and their beliefs and what happens when we're no more, what happens when people we know.  I love that it's a book that everyone can take something different from.   I do believe that Miles found the Great Perhaps, thats what I took away from the book.  I think the trials and suffering and happiness he got to feel were the stepping stones to his own personal Great Perhaps.  I think the level of maturity he shows when the story progresses and the challenges he has to face are proof that he found his way out of the dark, that he's a better person when the story concludes because of the things that have happened to him.  That Alaska has shaped him into a new person, a person who took on the Great Perhaps and found his way out of the labyrinth.

Looking for Alaska is tragic and lighthearted and heartbreaking and funny.  It's everything you could ever hope to get out of a reading experience and more.  Some people are authors, this man, he is a writer.  A write that can capture the soul of a teenage boy in just a few words.  I leave you with my favourite quote from the book.  (a quote that I actually underlined in my copy of the book.  yes.  I defaced a book.) 

"So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane." 

Review - Paper Towns by John Green

Published by Bloomsbury
Published 3 May 2010

Summary from Goodreads - When Margo Roth Spiegelman beckons Quentin Jacobsen in the middle of the night—dressed like a ninja and plotting an ingenious campaign of revenge—he follows her. Margo’s always planned extravagantly, and, until now, she’s always planned solo. After a lifetime of loving Margo from afar, things are finally looking up for Q . . . until day breaks and she has vanished. Always an enigma, Margo has now become a mystery. But there are clues. And they’re for Q.

For a book that starts of so quitely and unassuming, I never really expected to literally be in awe of it's conclusion nor of the events that lead upto it's finish.  Your drawn in from the first page by Quentin, whose voice is firmly established within the opening chapter and his attraction to a strange, alluring and enigmatic girl, who only happens to be in the first few chapters.  Yes, i'm talking about Margo Roth Spiegelman.  Q is dragged into her world either by choice or the desperate need to understand someone he desperately wants to understand.  They go round Orlando, doing magnificently crazy things like breaking and entering, though not simultaneously I may add.  But just when Q thinks he's on a path to discover the mystery that is Margo Roth Spiegelman, she disappears, seemingly leaving clues behind for him to decipher.  Q becomes convinced that if he can crack the code Margo left behind, the clues will lead him to her.  

I don't actually know if my reactions and thoughts about this can even be articulated into coherant sentences, because this book is not just the simple mystery that the plot line sells you.  It's a story about discovering yourself, discovering the people around you, it's full of life lessons and downfalls and the things we tell ourselves that no one else ever gets to hear.  Personally, I found Q's journey to be quite philosophical, full of why's and how's and what if's.  It was such an exhilirating feeling to read a book that actually kept me on my toes from page to page, and not just trying to figure out the plot line or character traits, but more the actual characters themselves.  Who were they? and more importantly, what their story was trying to tell me?

The whole "Paper Town" aspect really fascinated me, that map makers actually put fake towns onto maps to prevent other companies violating copyright law.  I think this was such a clever way of inserting copyright without it be noticeable.  But then this made me think, who's more clever, the people who saw this fake town on a map and made it into something real, who manifested a town out of someones weird idea to trick people into violating the law, or the people who were trying to be covert and ended up getting burned by some person building a town from nothing?  SEE? it made me really think.

I loved that even though Margo was only an "actual" character in the first section of the book, I wanted to reveal the mystery surrounding her, I wanted to find out who she was and why she did what she did.  I cared about her and her whacked out way of thinking, I wanted to find her just as much as Q did (though I was not harbouring any unrequited love for the girl).  The way Q built Margo up in his head to be this unattainable, never to be reached, fantastical being, made me think about how I view other people.  Sometimes people do things that really piss me off, they make me frustrated, they make me want to smack them right in their stupid faces.  But then, maybe I invoke this emotion in people, sometimes maybe i'm not the person other people want me to be, or expect me to be.  The version of me people have in their head is not the actual me, only I can know the actual me.  Maybe i'm just a paper girl living in a paper town, maybe we all are.  Or maybe we're not afraid to be who we are and we can embrace it and move forward.

All in all, I kind of want to beat the complete shit out of past me for not reading this book sooner, and in the next minute, i'm glad that I didn't.  I'm glad i've got the feeling of just having read a book that made me laugh, a book that was hysterical and poignant and ultimately a book that I could read time and time again and take something different and new from each time. I'm absolutely, completely, awestruck.  And I think I can say with total conviction, John Green, is my favourite writer hands down.  Nobody else comes close.  

p.s word to the wise and basically just some awesome advice - if your ever stuck when buying a gift, I would most definitely say, in all situations, a Black Santa would suffice.

DRUMROLL PLEASE.........

MAJOR SPAZ ATTACK

*EXPLODES*

YOU GUYS...............IT'S JOHN GREEN DAY!!

(if that photo doesn't make you feel weak at the knees then what is wrong with YOU?)

GOOD MORNING HANK, ITS SATURDAY!!

zomg, I think I am actually going to barf on him.  Remind me to pack tissues in my purse.

Things That Make Me FAH-REAK OUT

I have been freaking out a lot lately, whether it be finding out that I am irreversebly, incontrollably in love with the people that live inside my head, or reading reviews that make me wish Sue Sylvester will come and live with me (Jenny, oh awesome friend of mine, please dont forget the snacks).  Seriously, i'm like a puppy.  I get majorly excited about the mundanest of things.  So, I compiled a list of things that make me squeal like a pre-teen at a Justin Beiber concert.

1. Blond Boys.  Especially said blond boy.  You know that feeling that starts in the pit of your stomach and works its way to the top of your head till your all out jumping around? thats kind of how I feel when I look at any photo of this boy.  No, i'm not naming him.  You should know who he is, YOU SHOULD KNOW.

2. Books.  Now this ain't very surprising because this is a book blog, so obvs I love the books.  But sometimes they make me feel sososososo happy, I could quite happily curl up inside them and live their forever and ever, safe in the knowledge that the characters would never bore me to tears.  Books that have done this to me recently are The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart, Freak Magnet by Andrew Auseon and anything and everything by Meg Cabot.

3. Writing.  Well shoot me down baby because I am on FIRE with this writing malarcy.  Which brings me to Scrivener, which is my new lover.  We're spending a lot of my time together, i'm even sacrificing book time to be with it, which means something good is on the table.  The table of luuuuurv.

4. Postlady.  My postlady is the bestest lady to walk the face of the earth.  She's even awesomer than me.  If she wasn't married you can bet your ass i'd be dragging her to a civil ceremony RIGHT THIS SECOND.

6. The Beach.  After wanting to go to the beach for so long, I finally get to go tomorrow.  I'm kind of sad that i'll be ending my personal record of three days straight of not getting dressed, but it will be worth it because I get to see the beach.  (note, my beach will not be sunny or nice, it'll be wetter than wet, but it will still be the beach.)

7. John Green.  See, I get to meet John Green on Saturday.  Like actually be in the same room as him.  Do you understand what this means? It means I am going to be reduced to nothing but a puddle of Carla goo.  I can't actually think about this without hyperventalating.  I am going to have a major major spaz attack when I see him.  I'm either going to say something ridiculous or do something ridiculous.  My awkwardness knows no bounds, especially in the face of someone so fantastically awesome.  I'm afraid I may just pee in my pants, and not just a little.  I also get to meet Liz from My Favourite Books again (YAY), Ana from The Books Smugglers and Karen Mahoney and Cat Clarke, both soon to be first time YA novelists.  There will be cocktails and book talk and it will all me made of AWESOME.

8. Blogs and Bloggers alike.  I've never known a community to be so welcoming and so darn nice.  I seriously am loving the blogging world at the moment, I love the new blogs i'm discovering, the old ones that get better and better with each post.  The ones that have special places in my blogroll.  The ones I go back to day after day, even if they haven't posted, just to see peoples comments.  Thats hardcore dude, but thats how I roll.

Good day and good night, may you all prosper in freaking amazing things for the forseeable future and then some.  I bid you adieu.

Review - All American Girl - Ready or Not by Meg Cabot

Published by Macmillam
Published 2 September 2005

Summary from Goodreads - Top ten things Samantha Madison isn't ready for:
10. Spending Thanksgiving at Camp David
9. With her boyfriend, the president's son
8. Who appears to want to take their relationship to the Next Level
7. Which Sam inadvertently and shockingly announces live on MTV
6. While appearing to support the president's dubious policies on families, morals, and yes, sex
5. Juggling her new after-school job at Potomac Video
4. Even though she already has a job as teen ambassador to the UN (that she doesn't get paid for)
3. Riding the Metro and getting accosted because she's "the redheaded girl who saved the president's life," in spite of her new, semipermanent Midnight Ebony tresses
2. Experiencing total role reversal with her popular sister Lucy, who for once can't get the guy she wants
And the number-one thing Sam isn't ready for
1. Finding out the hard way that in art class, "life drawing" means "naked people."

So after reading the first All American Girl book and declaring my undying love for Ms Cabot, it seemed fitting that I would run right out and try to buy every single book this woman ever wrote.  Side note - i've not actually got all this womans books, but COME ON she's got more published books than Lady GaGa has freaky deaky outfits.  I have like seven of them already, but, love like this can't be rushed i'm told, it's something delicate that could be crushed at any minute so it needs to be honed and cared for. (seriously, any one who tries to pee all over my Meg Cabot love will get beat on, HARD)

Samantha is BACK! I missed her a lot, because I like-like her not just like her, and that doubleness goes a long way.  She's still with David, still going to her art classes and still generaly thinking way too much about everything.  Seriously, her inner dialogue propells forward so fast, I always find myself reading at break neck speed to catch up with her thoughts, because I just know when she's thinking all this crazy funny things in her head, shes talking sososososososo fast, because she is FAH-reaking out because it seems David wants some bedroom fun of the horizontal naked kind.  But she can't have sex with him right? RIGHT? that would be insane? its INSANE RIGHT? (this is how she sounds in my head, but she waves her arms around a lot) and thus my love for this crazy girl continues.

This is a genius way of getting the point across to readers that people generally are a bit freaky about sex.  Especially people who haven't done it before.  Especially when your boyfriend won't just come out and say give it up already! lets go get naked!  It deals with the inner turbulence every girl goes through when trying to decide if the time is right to break free of those shackles universally known as the dreaded Virginity.  It's so hysterical to watch Samantha worry and fuss and generally act like a crazy person, about whether she's ready to have sex with David.  And not just sex with David anywhere, no, sex with David at Camp David (did I mention David is gorgeous and lives in the White House because he's the PRESIDENTS SON!!).  Because she has to have sex with him if she wants to keep him right? RIGHT?

And most of all this books showed that being open about sex and actually discussing it with people first is GOOD.  They can tell you all sorts of things you never knew, like where to buy spermicide or which condoms are the best (stay safe kids, stay safe).  That kind of openness is something every girl should have, they should have someone to talk about it with, someone to share their fears or just giggle about actually having sex, because omg, it can be scary.  Because no one wants to end up preggers after their first time and you want to be SAFE because theres sexually tramsmitted diseases and babies to think about.

Amazingly funny (I didn't pee my pants but I read this at home and was in close proximity to the bathroom), great message and my love for Ms Cabot is increasing every single day.  LOVE.


p.s I couldn't find a full size UK cover for this book so the one gracing the page is the US cover.
p.p.s Is it just me or is that new image feature on google lame.  i hate it.

The Carla Diaries - YOU DECIDE Edition

Okay, so lately I've been in this major reading slump.  Like where even looking at books makes me want to curl up in my fort of blankets and take a nice long nap.  I find myself doing anything to avoid picking up a book, and this is not like me at all.  Normally I avoid everything and anything that prevents me from reading.  Dinner? who needs dinner? I would say.  Shower, who needs a shower? Okay, so I never took it as far that I would skip on the general personal hygeine rules, but where has my reading mojo gone?

I've got to the point where I look at my bookshelf full of books waiting to be read, and not one guilty thought enters my mind.  That feeling is so thrilling.  Knowing I have loads of books to read and I can choose when and where I read them is exhilirating.  I won't be forced into reading something if i'm not in the mood, because ultimately, if I read something not by choice but courtesy, odds are that I won't enjoy it enough.  Take The Eternal Ones.  I started reading that last night and all I could think was "This is so ridiculously boring.  I should go and take a nap.  So, the girl is hot and the dude is ugly, wow, fresh take on *that* storyline.  I wonder if we have any popcorn.  Ohhh, I should listen to Benny and The Jets again.  Whats this girl called now?"  SEE, when I got this book I was beyond excited because the premise is amazing and I have read some brilliant reviews.  But, because I wasn't in the mood, I couldn't enjoy it.  I could've read my favourite book of all time and sat and ripped it to shreds.

So, this is where YOU come in.  What do you do to get yourself out of a reading slump?

Plus, you guys get to decide the next book I read.  For realz, I am handing myself over to the interwebs in the hope that you will rush to my aid and bust some seriously ninja moves on this reading slump.  Even if i don't own the book, I will go out and BUY IT!!!  So, YOU DECIDE......

Review - Raised by Wolves by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Published by Quercus (UK) & Egmont (US)
Published 30 September 2010 & 8 June 2010 (US)

Summary from Goodreads - Pack life is about order, but Bryn is about to push all the limits, with hair-raising results.  At the age of four, Bryn watched a rabid werewolf brutally murder her parents. Alone in the world, she was rescued and taken in by Callum, the alpha of his pack. Now fifteen, Bryn's been raised as a human among werewolves, adhering to pack rule (mostly). Little fazes her. 

But the pack's been keeping a secret, and when Bryn goes exploring against Callum's orders, she finds Chase, a newly turned teen Were locked in a cage. Terrifying memories of the attack on her mom and dad come flooding back. Bryn needs answers, and she needs Chase to get them. Suddenly, all allegiances to the pack no longer matter. It's Bryn and Chase against the werewolf world, whatever the consequences. 

Books about wolves are kind of my "thing", I know a lot more about the werewolf genre than I feel comfortable admitting.  Like the famous words from Jerry Maguire "you had me at hello" well, thats what these books are to me, but obviously replacing the words hello, with wolves.  So, I think its safe to say that I was more than a little bit excited to get my hands on a copy of this book.

Bryn is 15 years old and is quite literally being raised by a pack of wolves.  This is as shoddy as it sounds, because being the only human in a pack full of wolves means that restrictions and rules are aplenty.  Her guardian Callum is overly protective and Bryn hates the fact that just because she's human, she's seen as the weakest link.  And then Chase comes onto the scene and it's like lighting a firework, you know it's going to explode, you just don't know when.  

I loved that Barnes decided to write the book from Bryns perspective because we get a lot of insight of how she copes with pack life, how she manages to deal with the constant power struggles and feelings of inadequacy.  It was through Bryn that we get to see the inner workings of pack life, and how she has come to view and respect members of her family that harbour deep resentment at Callum for bringing Bryn into their misdt.  I honestly couldn't turn the pages fast enough once Bryn realised that her pack and leader were keeping secrets from her, and I knew she wouldn't give in until she uncovered the truth.

Wow, Barnes writes in such a captivating and electrifying way that keeps you on your toes, always second guessing any speculations you may have about the plot line and outcome of the book.  The way the characters interacted with each other was endearing and sincere, especially the interactions between Callum and Bryn.  At first I resented Callum for the boundries he set Bryn and not letting her have space and freedom, but once you get to know him, I sympathised with his situation and his insistent need to keep Bryn safe no matter the cost or the conseqences of his actions.

Bryn, OH BRYN!!! I frackin loved this girl something rotten.  She's one of those girls that just doesn't really give a crap about what other people think.  She's that girl everyone wants to play truth or dare with because they just know she'd take whatever was thrown at her and give as good as she got.  Bryn was fiesty, kick ass and sneaky, but most of all, she was mature, smart AND fierce.  She understood why Callum was more strict with her than other members of the pack, but just because she understood it, it didn't mean she was going to keep quiet and let him get away with it.  Boy, I love my characters when they have some sass and take no shit.  Makes me want to pull out the fist pumping.

Raised by Wolves is one of the best books about wolves I ever had the pleasure of reading.  It was fast paced, action packed and most importantly, it had one of the most well thought out protagonists to tell us the story.  Addictive and engaging, if you don't read this book, then more fool you, because you are seriously missing out.  Am I reading the sequel? You bet your ASS I AM!!!


Big thank you to Quercus for sending me a copy of this book to review.  I would go as far to say I may be in love with them just a little bit.

So.......You want an Author to send you a BOOK?

Over the past few weeks I've received quite a few emails from bloggers, or just people who are planning on starting their own blog.  This kind of thing always bemuses me, because even though i've been blogging for a full YEAR (I know right?! apparantely my blogoversary was 12 July and I missed it.  I do have a habit of being horridly late, but nearly 4 weeks is my biggest acheivement!) I still feel like a newbie.  I sometimes worry that i'm doing things wrong, I post reviews and have a panicked moment where I think "who the crap do you think you ARE? do you honestly think people want to read what you have to SAY?" but I think everyone has their doubts and insecurities, and these things are what makes me *want* to be a better blogger.  

So, you can probably tell from my title that this is about "author review requests" because it seems people think I know how to do this the right way.  In all honesty, i've never emailed an author and asked them to send me a book.  I've accepeted if they have offered, and I would only ever request a copy of a book directly from the author if I knew them personally or had a super relationship with them.  Thats not to say that i think asking authors for copies of their books is wrong per se, but it's just not something I feel comfortable doing myself.  SO, for those people who have emailed me and asked me this question, I have took the liberty of writing you an email to an author asking for a book.  You can go right on ahead and just copy and paste the following text into your email.  I expect it would work like gold dust.  The text in italics is notes from me, you can either delete those or keep them in.  BUT by keeping them in, it shows you've actually done research for which you will receive rewards. 

Dear Author - never ever use their name, always use "author", your not their friend so don't act like it.  Plus, no one likes a smart ass.

I totes want to read your book.  I've had it on my wish list since before you even decided to write it.  Yes, i'm really that clever.  In fact, it makes me wonder how you got published seen as though i'm much smarter than you are.  Its funny how the world works. - Big yourself up and shake what your mamma gave you.  You will sound like a smart ass though, so maybe edit so there are some spelling mistakes so as to not make the author jealous.

Anyways, I loved your other book/books (??) and I really wanted to read this one to see if I love it as much.  Wait, is this your first book, or is it part of a series, OR did you publish some other story.  Anyways,  I digress.  - DUDES authors love it when you don't research them and haven't ever read any of their books nor know anything about their upcoming title.  Its all about the mystery.  Authors love the MYSTERY.

I just really want you to send me a copy of your book, because I want to read it.  I was going to ask your publisher instead but then figured you wrote it so you must have piles of it lying around.  I know from experience authors always get stacks and stacks of their books sent to them when they sign a book deal.  So, it isn't possible for you to read that many so you should send one to me, because like I said, I will LOVE this book.  Actually, do you know the title yet and do you have a cover? - Authors get piles and piles of books, they even use them as door stops, so asking them to pick one out of their gigantic pile is kind of doing them a favour.  Questions are key here, try and bombard them with as many questions as you can fit in one email.  They will LOVE you forever, and may even dedicate their next book to you for being so COOL.

I really hope you send me a copy anyway, because if you don't I tell all my friends and bloggers how mean you are.  Thanks, and I look forward to reading the book you send me, because you will.  Send me the book I mean.  -  Authors totally DIG blackmail and demands.  It's what they live for.

YOUR WELCOME, MAY YOU PROSPER IN PILES OF AUTHOR REVIEW COPIES

**UPDATE**

OH...........SO, I am so terribly sorry but there seems to have been a little misunderstanding.  I JUST spoke to my sources now and they said to never EVER do any of the things I mentioned, because if you send an email like that you'll probably never get a response, you should always contact the publishers and do your research.  DUDES!! hit the CRTL, ALT, DELETE keys now, I repeat, this is not a test, that email will get you SHOT DOWN.  I apologise, I really do. MY BAD.

Review - Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah Maclean

Published 30 March 2010
Published by Avon

Summary from Goodreads - A lady does not smoke cheroot. She does not ride astride. She does not fence or attend duels. She does not fire a pistol, and she never gambles at a gentlemen's club. 

Lady Calpurnia Hartwell has always followed the rules, rules that have left her unmarried—and more than a little unsatisfied. And so she's vowed to break the rules and live the life of pleasure she's been missing.

But to dance every dance, to steal a midnight kiss—to do those things, Callie will need a willing partner. Someone who knows everything about rule-breaking. Someone like Gabriel St. John, the Marquess of Ralston—charming and devastatingly handsome, his wicked reputation matched only by his sinful smile.

If she's not careful, she'll break the most important rule of all—the one that says that pleasure-seekers should never fall hopelessly, desperately in love . . .

See, the thing is, i'm not much of a romance fan, especially when it doesn't involve chaste meetings at lockers between classes, or sneaky kisses under the bleachers.  So, when I decided to read this book after much insistence from Alea, I wasn't sure what to expect.  Well, first off, can I just say, you are going to need flame retardent panties if you ever plan on reading this book, because normal panties just won't cut it.  In fact, I suggest only reading this book when you have hours and hours to read, because I am telling you, real life just kind of fades into the background where this book is concerned.

Holy CRAP this book is hot.  Like if this book was a stereo system, it's be that one that dude wants in the Italian Job, y'know, the one that blows your clothes right off.  In fact, at this present moment, I have no idea where my copy of this book is, because it's off doing the rounds with my friends.  And I don't like to share books, so to say that I want just about everyone I know to read this book so we can discuss the filth inside the pages, says a LOT.  Avon, when you publish another book with this level of hotness, then I think it should come with a warning, like "FLAMMABLE" because well, clothes melting is something that is a definite possibility.

Callie girl, I know high fives were not something that Rengency England were aware of, but *high five* because that list of despicable sordid things ladies should never ever do rocked my socks.  AND that fact that you actually decided on your own back that you were not going to conform to what people think a lady should or should not do, reminded me that the best power of all powers is GIRL POWER!!  Callie as a character was just the perfect protagonist for this story, she was insecure but still very determined and independant.  She *hated* the fact that even at 27 she was seen as "on the shelf" and that fact that she took her future in her own hands and didn't give a drat about her reputation made me so frickin happy.  CALLIE, we must go and drink whiskey in a mens club and destroy our reputations!

Such a funny, fresh and deliciuosly scandalous introduction to the Historical Romance genre.  Ralston, be still my beating heart.  Also, I have flame retardant panties, so give me a call.  Fabulous!