Review - Tell Me A Secret by Holly Cupala

Published by Harper Teen
Published 1 July 2010

Summary from Goodreads - Tell me a secret, and I'll tell you one… 

In the five years since her bad-girl sister Xanda’s death, Miranda Mathison has wondered about the secret her sister took to the grave, and what really happened the night she died. Now, just as Miranda is on the cusp of her dreams—a best friend to unlock her sister’s world, a ticket to art school, and a boyfriend to fly her away from it all—Miranda has a secret all her own.

Then two lines on a pregnancy test confirm her worst fears. Stripped of her former life, Miranda must make a choice with tremendous consequences and finally face her sister’s demons and her own. 

I literally finished this book about fifteen minutes ago and I get the feeling its going to be one of those books that lingers in my mind for a long time.  It takes a lot for me to get invested into a story so completely that I can't seem to turn the pages fast enough.  And the strange thing is, I can't quite come to a conlusion about how I feel about this book.  I kind of hate it and love it all at once.  It made me feel unbelievably angry, heartbroken yet full of hope and love for the characters.  I can't quite describe it.

Cupalas writing is unlike anything I have ever read before.  Its unassuming, raw and powerful.  Reading this book I felt every emotion that our protagonist Rand goes through.  I wanted to dip my hands into the pages and draw her out and into my world and envelope her in a great big hug, then slap her in the face and throw her back into the story.  One minute she frustrated me and grated on my nerves, and in the next minute she captured my attention and my sympathy and my awe for her strength of character.  

The premise of the story is one that has been seen countless times and you'd be wrong in assuming that this one would be any different.  Rands journey is one I am glad that I got to follow.  Nothing is sugar coated, every bad feeling and horrible experience is laid bare for the reader to see.  Sometimes I found the book painful to read, like I wanted more than anything to slam the book closed and launch it acroos the room, my death grip the only thing stopping me.  The honest truth is not something I expected to find when reading this book, I was expecing a nice easy story and thats nothing like I got.  This isn't an easy book to read, the story is shoved in your face, the characters are flawed and full of emotion, but they are real.  

This was a stunning debut, Cupla's writing is amazing in the most understated way.  It didn't hit home for me until the last page how amazing her writing really is.  She has created this story that refuses to let you forget that there will be ramifications for every decision you make in such an honest and heartfelt way.  Beautiful and terrifying.